Today, well technically yesterday I did get some of my homework done, and I talked to Christina. I am having a hard time deciding what my "dream" client or business looks like. Thinking about what my business is going to look like is difficult because I feel that I have a hard time looking past the fact that I already have a career.

Tonight I hosted a concert, and I used that time to experiment with shooting with high ISO's. I was shooting in 800, 1600, and 3200. The images seemed ok on the camera's screen. We'll have to wait and see how they turned out.

Lately I feel that I don't have the creative eye that photography requires. I see other's images and I think "Why didn't I think of that?" This is becoming frustrating. I'm hoping I can turn this frustration into positive energy to better myself.

Anyways, I'm going to bed.

Goals for today:

• Photographer eval & description
• Work on dream client & dream business descriptions
• Phone call with Christina
• Shoot some photos at the concert I'm hosting/ MCing. 

New blog!

Please take the time to check out the corroboration blog of my brother Steven and I. It is called Passersby Illustrated. I'll be taking one photo a week and my brother will write a short story based on it.

Quote of the day...

"Your style isn't defined by a certain type of lighting and or angle - it's a byproduct of your personality and how you live your life." - Sebastian Smith

I didn't accomplish anything yesterday. Well, except for buying a bicycle!

I simply ran out of time and I was on the run from the time I got up. Then the email I sent myself at work to review wouldn't open because it was in a Mac format. Grrr.

So it looks like I have a lot to do today before a birthday party this evening.

Good night all!

Hmm... I have felt like such a slacker since getting back from vacation. It is a combination of trying to get back in the groove of things, as well as missing my family, and in some ways feeling dissatisfied with being here in Colorado. But anyways...

I did accomplish something yesterday. Not necessarily photography related, but heart related for sure. I finished reading the Brennan Manning book called Ruthless Trust. It is an incredible book about surrendering yourself to the Lord. One of the questions that was raised was, we might love God but do we trust Him? This is a must-read! This is the third Brennan Manning book I've read, and I wholeheartedly recommend those other two books as well: The Ragamuffin Gospel, and The Furious Longing of God.

See, there I go again forgetting that I did anything photo related... A friend at work just got engaged and I offered to do his engagement photos so I can build my portfolio.


Goals for today (depending on when I wake up):

• Tackle my Social Circles list.
•  Review the personal attributes I've been writing down, to start or finish my 5 words/ phrases.
• Work on some discussion material for a photography community meeting that's coming up on Monday.

How glorious the splendor of a human heart which trusts that it is loved! - Ruthless Trust (P.148)

Favorite vacation photos...

My nephew Noah

ISO 400 -- 70mm -- f/2.8 -- 1/60sec

Tie up #8

ISO 100 -- 68mm -- f/5.6 -- 1/800sec

Looking out from a cathedral in Puerto Vallarta Mexico

ISO 400 -- 40mm -- f/8.0 -- 1/800sec

On the beach front in Puerto Vallarta Mexico

ISO 400 -- 55mm -- f/8.0 -- 1/2000sec

My friends Matt and Josie

ISO 400 -- 27mm -- f/7.1 -- 1/250sec

ISO 400 -- 24mm -- f/11 -- 1/250sec

Matt and Josie got married on the 14th

ISO 400 -- 70mm -- f/2.8 -- 1/250sec

First ever ring photo!

ISO 400 -- 68mm -- f/2.8 -- 1/125sec

ISO 400 -- 62mm -- f/2.8 -- 1/200sec

Long Beach California

ISO 400 -- 58mm -- f/8.0 -- 1/8000sec

Lessons from a grand adventure...

This photo was taken on my last evening at sea, on the return voyage of the Sapphire Princess to Los Angeles. My friends Matt and Josie had been married on our second day of the cruise, and I was honored to be Matt's best man. So anyways, back to the sunset photo...

I went exploring the ship, mind you this was the 7th day I'd been on the ship, and I came across a walkway around the bow of ship that I hadn't seen previously. The wind was whipping something fierce, and the waves were breaking below me. It was a beautiful symphony of nature. I turned and saw the sun streaking through the ever darkening clouds. Sitting there for about an hour and a half, breathing deeply the cool sea air, with my ears filled with wind and waves; it was as if this moment in time was the sole purpose of my vacation.

Awe. Wonder. Amazement. I tangibly felt these things. Our God is THE master artist.

As I sat there taking in this profound beauty there were several people who came "power-walking" by, never pausing to revel in this. They were too busy thinking about their health, or walking to forget about something, that they missed the sunset that would never happen again. My observation of these people made me realize how busy and preoccupied I have become. So busy that I don't find pleasure in the simplest of things. It was when this enlightenment, and following confession took place that a simple phrase suddenly popped into my mind. How oblivious we are.

While we might be taking part in healthy and non-selfish pursuits, we can become so engrossed in those things that we actually lose sight of what is of the utmost importance. That being our love of God, and our delight in His love of us. Living life as though we're here without purpose, or that we're an accident is not only far from the truth, but there is no way to recover from feeling hopeless.

Each week I attempt to take a day off from my phone, the computer, music and movies. These have been very beneficial days. But what I learned in the hour and a half on deck 7 is that I will often squander my time even without the distractions mentioned above. So from here on out, on the days that I'm "fasting" from technology I'm going to incorporate a time of simplicity. Where I just revel in creation, and listen more than talk to God.

From my journal: " Balance is something I need to be better at. I've definitely settled in at work and think that when I'm off-duty there is clear separation. My off-duty time is where I need some work. I cannot be so busy that I don't have flexibility."

I have never felt like a "prayer warrior". I have always felt more inclined to be  doing something. But Brennan Manning nailed it home when he said, "Work as if everything depends on God, and pray as if everything depends on me." Aside from learning to live a balanced life, I need to understand and take part in prayer more frequently. How else does one get better at something without putting time into it? Plus it is talking to my creator and master visionary.

"The only way to fail in prayer is to not show up." - (attributed to) Thomas Keating

Some goals I now have are:
- Grow still.

- Be attentive.

- Listen.

"Abba,
I surrender my will and my life to you today, without reservation and with humble confidence, for you are my loving father. Set me free from self-consciousness, from anxiety about tomorrow, and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others, that I may find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing you. May my inner freedom be a compelling sign of your presence, your peace, your power, and your love. Let your plan for my life and the lives of all your children gracefully unfold one day at a time. I love you with all my heart, and I place all my confidence in you, for you are my Abba." - Ruthless Trust P.132

Back to the grind...

Hi, I'm back from my vacation to California and Mexico. It was an awesome time, and a much needed break. Just a few days ago I was in the hot sun of Mexico, and now that I'm back here in Colorado it's blizzarding out. Geez.

Anyways. My "internal clock" is all messed up from the travel and time changes, and waking up early on vacation. Who wakes up early on vacation?! It's 11:30pm and I'm going to bed...

I really didn't do anything photography related today because I was busy getting stuff done around the house. And even being busy with that it doesn't feel that I accomplished anything. OH! I guess I did do something photo related. I offered to shoot a friend's engagement photos, and I told my roommate that I'd shoot his engagement photos as well (when he pops the question).


Goals for tomorrow:

• Blog about what I learned on vacation.
• Post favorite photos from vacation.
• Finish reading Ruthless Trust.

Today:

• "Baby" brother backed out of the shoot (he was embarrassed about the mullet).
• Spent about an hour editing photos.
• Walked around Long Beach and shot a few photos. Spent more time talking with friends than shooting.

Next week:

• On a cruise ship!
• Shoot some wedding photos on Sunday!
• Lots of relaxing!
• Lots of reading!
• Little bit of sunburning.
• No internet!
• No cell phone!
• Ahhh yeah!!!

You know what? I was going to write about how I didn't get much accomplished today, but then realized I did.

Today:

• Journaled about who I am.
• Evaluated what social circles I have.
• Took some cute photos of my little nephews while visiting the Palm Springs Art Museum.

Tomorrow:

• Portrait shoot for my "baby brother".
• Shoot with a friend in Long Beach. Maybe learn some things from her too.

Saturday:

• The start of NO phone or internet for a week as I'll be on a cruise ship going to Baja California!!!
• Photographing daily.
• Finish Fast Track Photographer and begin Within the Frame: The Journey of Photographic Vision.

So, it is with regret that I conclude my day. Not complete bawling regret, just a dash of regret.

I didn't complete anything that I set out to do today. I love my family but it isn't the healthiest. And that being said just leads to a very stressful time being with them. Today was extra stressful and I even sent out a mass text message asking for prayer to help me get through the day.

My day wrapped up on a much more positive note. I spent a couple hours hanging out with some homeless people in a city park in Indio California; singing worship songs and warming ourselves near a fire in a BBQ grill. It was an encouraging time, and it also reminded me how very blessed I am. I wish I had more time to dedicate to ministry on my vacation.

Of course ending my day with a stop into In-N-Out Burger for a Double-Double and fries also cannot be beat.

So with that. I'm over and out. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day. I'm not going to set any goals but I'm definitely going to get out of the house and devote plenty of time into my homework assignments.

ISO 400 -- 70mm -- f/2.8 -- 1/400 sec

Well I didn't get in a structured photo shoot yesterday but I did get this gem. Just one of my nephews' toys.

Yesterday:
Aside from taking the Strengths Finder test and reviewing my results, I didn't do much in the way of photography or development. :(

While I love my family, they definitely wear me out. I'm staying with my sister, her hubby, and their 3 kids. 3 boys all under 4. Needless to say there is a lot of energy expended keeping tabs on them, playing with them, and putting up with their temper tantrums. While I'd love to be married, spending time with my nephews makes me not want to rush into having kids right away (- should God so bless me with an incredible lady who wants to love me for the rest of her life). I'm exhausted. I thought this was supposed to be a vacation? HA HA.

Anyways...

Goals for today:

• Try to knock out as much of Fast Track Photographer as possible.
• Write about deep questions that Dane Sanders poses in the book.
• Further review Strengths Finder test results.
• Get a photo shoot in, even if it happens to be a photojournalistic one at the homeless outreach I'll be attending in the evening.

Ok. It is time to sleep!

Strengths Finder 2.0

Connectedness

Relator

Communication

Positivity

Strategic
So there you have it. My top 5 of 34 personal strengths according to Gallup's survey. I'll have to look into these more, but I did read through the descriptions associated with each strength. Right off the bat the Connectedness one seemed to peg me really well with statements such as; "You yearn to dedicate yourself to worthy causes or noble purposes." But the other descriptors I found to be just ok, and even hokey in their humanistic and psychological lingo. I'm not as impressed with this test as with the test that accompanies the Fast Track Photographer book. No worries, I won't write Strengths Finders off just yet.

Got to run. I'm making dinner for my family tonight.

Verse of the day...

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else.- 1 Thes 3

Today I:

• Edited photos for about 2 hours.
• 14 mile bike ride.
• Had my Skype call with Christina today.

I am writing from Palm Desert California... It has been a long and tiring 2 days, but I'm grateful to be here with family. I only got 5 hours of sleep before starting my roadtrip and then I tried to sleep in my car just south of Flagstaff Arizona, but because of the wind and icy pellets pummeling my car I basically tossed and turned for 3 hours before hitting the road again; battling torrential rain all the way to California.

I'm spent... I'm going to bed. I'll update my blog in the morning, and try to get back on track with everything. This vacation is going to be awesome. And is much needed.

Oh... I tried shooting in strictly manual mode several times today. For so long I've shot in typically Av (Aperture Priority). Boy oh boy do I feel helpless shooting in manual. In a way I feel that shooting in strictly manual will give me much more control over the exposure of my images, but it seems so complex. Oh well, I'll keep at it...

- Over and out,
Tim

I can't wait for this night to be over. This shift has felt like one of the longest ever. When I'm done here I'm on vacation for a couple weeks! Thank God! I've been really stressed lately, and for some reason even trying to get ready for a vacation can be stressing. The next couple of weeks will be filled with a lot of friends, family, laughs and photography. I am super stoked. This is going to be an awesome vacation.

As you may have noticed in my other blog posts, I haven't accomplished much. I hate myself for that too.

Today I did read some Fast Track Photographer which is always a pleasure. Instead of mentally evaluating a couple questions Dane asked, I decided to write the answers down. Here is one such Q&A...

What was it about photography that caught your heart?
The timelessness of photos intrigues me. There is almost something magical in the process of capturing an image. The possibility that a photo I take today could be cherished by a great-great grandchild is very real.

While I sometimes falter explaining why I like an image or describing its editing; some photos instantly grab my attention. It could be out of the sheer complexity or even its simplicity. Or it may grab me do to its unique perspective on the world.

I enjoy being a piece in this incredible and beautiful legacy of photography. Maybe my images will be the very thing that other people dreamt of creating but didn't have the know-how or courage to.

The deep resistance to making ourselves so vulnerable, so naked, so totally unprotected is our implicit way of saying, "Jesus, I trust you, but there are limits." By refusing to share our fantasies, worries, and joys, we limit God's lordship over our life and make clear that there are parts of us that we do not wish to submit to a divine conversation. It seems that the Master had something more in mind when he said, "Trust in me" (John 14:1b). - Brennan Manning in Ruthless Trust

To accomplish: Get on track. :)

Ah... Much better.

Yesterday (Wednesday):
I honestly cannot remember what I did. It was kind of a blur, and it was a rather crappy day. My flight plans to California got shot down, and I got booted from the Homeless Outreach Team at work because I'm going on vacation. Sorry but I'm not going to miss my friends' wedding and Mexican Riviera cruise... These things along with my broken computer and vacation preparation stress, have left me feeling defeated and unable to focus on important things such as my homework assignments.

Wednesday's highlight may have been the 12 mile bike ride.

Well, I need to get to bed. I'll think about my days and update the blog later.

Goals for Friday:
Aside from packing and cleaning, I'd like to spend some time in the word, and knock out a couple of chapters in Fast Track Photographer as well. I probably should look at my homework list as well and try to catch up.

I love gummi worms!

Yesterday:
I didn't really accomplish much. I was at the Mac store 3 times. My 6 week old Macbook died; the verdict being that the hard drive crapped out. I also did a bunch of running around to get ready for a 2 week trip (1 week in SoCal and 1 week in Baja California). I did read Fast Track Photographer for about 25 minutes. Oh I did get in a 20 mile bike ride which was awesome!

"The root word of amateur is the same as that of the word "amore," or love. Amateur means someone who does something for the pure love of it. So, when used correctly, the term amateur ought to be equated with a true lover." - Dane Sanders in, Fast Track Photographer. 

I am my biggest critic, which isn't always the healthiest. I have equated my skills to that of a "rookie" and an "amateur", but only because I feel that I have much to learn and am not at a content place. I would like to regain the joy and pleasure that Dane Sanders speaks about in his definition of amateur. While being successful (financially and in recognition) would be nice, I definitely wouldn't want to trade my love and passion in for it. I have always said in regards to my career that I'd rather love what I do and get paid minimally than get paid a grip and hate what I do.

"One of the most arduous spiritual tasks is that of giving up control and allowing the Spirit of God to lead our lives." - Henri Nouwen quoted in the Brennan Manning book, Ruthless Trust.

Lord God, Help me to to have a productive day, not merely for myself but for your Kingdom. - Amen

Daily, attributes:
COMFORTER: There are several attributes I have that contribute to this one. Things like: compassion, hospitality, listener. I don't mind being there for people in times of great need, or lowest lows. Sometimes I find that properly timed humor can be just the thing a friend needs to get them through a tough time. I'd like to think that I"m pretty funny.

SARCASTIC: Me, sarcastic, nooooooooo! HA HA. I would have to say that I"m probably the most sarcastic while at work, trying to make light a situation. Like tonight when dealing with a drunk couple on an unfounded domestic who had a mini-Christmas tree still up; I kept telling them "Merry Christmas!" Sarcasm can be a really good tool to point out how ridiculous something is.

HUMBLE: I am the most humble person I know. (See "sarcastic").

Tomorrow's goals:
I have to be at work at 1pm tomorrow, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get done. But I'll definitely make an attempt to get some reading in. Hopefully I'll have my Mac back soon so I can get some editing and online studying done.

ARGH!!!

Last night my brand new Mac died before I was able to post my first post of the mentorship. Now I'm updating my blog from the Mac Store... Who knows what's wrong with my Mac or when I'll have it back. :(


Yesterday:

I started my day by watching this (http://www.vimeo.com/9679622) amazing stop-motion video. I watched it twice, and was fascinated by it both times. Unfortunately the sweet music isn't from a band, but a marketing agency. Oh well.

I met with Christina and we went over editing in Lightroom for about 30ish minutes. I still have a ton to learn and not knowing how to use Lightroom, or more so, what I'm going for is definitely a source of frustration.

After the mini Lightroom session Christina and I dove into what my first week's homework will be. I now have an extensive list. I really hope that I'll have my computer back soon so I can actually get stuff done. I am so stoked to see the transformation that this 3 months will bring. Thank you Christina for inviting me along on this journey.

Later in the afternoon I spent about 30 minutes editing photos from a shoot I had this past Friday.

Daily, attributes:
OPINIONATED: I am most definitely opinionated, and I'll stick to my guns about the things that I hold to be true. However, if someone wants to politely discuss opinions, I'm all ears. My opinion may not be right.

POLITE: Politeness is something that is definitely lacking from society these days. I do feel that I'm rather polite, and I think it is due to the home and generation that I grew up in. Why not take that extra 5 seconds and hold the door open for someone? Or take 2 seconds and say "Hello" to someone? Politeness and courtesy go a long way.

Goals for today:
Seeing that my computer is down for the count, I'm going to review some photo related magazines, and read some more of my Fast Track Photographer book. I'm hoping to have this book finished by the first part of next week.